Savory Beans

1 lb sausage

3 T onion

2 (1 lb) cans whole kernel corn

6 cups baked beans

Fry sausage with onion until crisp and brown. Add corn and beans. Heat through.

Pineapple Upside Down Cake

1 small can pineapple slices 
½ cup pecans
½ cup brown sugar
1 square margarine
2 yellow cake mixes or 3 golden pound cakes

Line 14 inch Dutch oven with aluminum foil, place on heat. Add margarine and melt; add brown sugar pineapple and pecans -this is the glaze.

While butter is melting, prepare cake mix according to package.

To bake: be careful not to burn bottom (use only about 8 coals on bottom). Use about 15 coals on top. Check every 15 minutes until golden brown and tests done. (stick a bamboo skewer into middle - if when removed it's dry and clean - cake is done.)

Remove from heat, lift out cake by the aluminum foil. Put a plate or board over the top and turn over quickly so that the glaze is not on top. Great with whipped cream or ice cream.

Surgery and Results....

Surgery was 18 days ago give or take. I'm recovering fairly nicely, if  I do say so myself from it. No infection and the incision is mostly intact. No infection equals nothing to concerning. It's a bit tender at times and sweating is the absolute one thing that makes me feel totally helpless enough to make me want to cry. Sweat in a wound of any kind is no fun. It's absolutely horrid when it's an incision on your body.

One of the big pluses about the surgery is that I can now be flat and not feel like I am being choked or someone is trying to strangle me. This is one sensation that really, really freaks me out because of all the times in my childhood that someone tried to either strangle me or smother me as some sort of practical joke they claimed although I'm sure they really wanted to do me in. I last felt that icky sensation when I was transferred to the operating table and positioned flat for the surgery. I immediately knew the surgery had worked when I was laid flat in order to adjust the head of the bed properly for me and it was gone. No more icky feeling of pressure.

Another plus is I can move my head in certain positions and not feel the pressure in my neck that would make me stop and not move my head any further for fear of hanging/choking myself. This means that I can turn my head to see better when I'm doing certain tasks that require it. It's a nice change to not have to move my entire body to see something that most people would simply be able to turn their head in one direction or another to see.

Another plus is I can swallow food that has some mass to it without pain or choking. It's wonderful to be able to eat and chew a normal size bite of say meat and swallow it without discomfort. Especially after a few years of cutting it into beginner solid size bits. I can also swallow some of the bigger pills that I have to take without an issue. I still have something going on with my swallowing but it's not like it was and I can better describe its location now cause I can tell the difference as to where the issue is at.

I learned two new things about myself. One is a new pain medicine I can take that works and without a reaction. The other is Ice. I'd of never believed that these were possible for me because I've long been in the 1% or less category of problems.

The pain medicine is not going to require much explanation. I was shocked that the doctor found something I could take with all my allergies. I admit that I was skeptical that it would work well. I was concerned about reacting to it. After all this is how I learned about several of my pain med allergies like Darvon, Percocet, Aleve, Advil, etc. I went in for surgery or something else that was painful and would require pain meds. I was given something for pain and after a few doses (2 to 3) but before release from hospital a reaction would happen. Hives, difficulty breathing to not breathing, rashes, etc.

So you can imagine my concern when I wasn't given the one medication that I knew works for post op pain in me and can only be given in a hospital setting.  I'll admit to thinking they were loons to not have me admitted for 24 hours of post op pain relief.

Normally post-op pain management for me after a trip to the OR means a cath is placed and a pump attached is attached to a morphine drip. Then for however long I'm allowed I get the blissful experience of a broken give a damn with the only concern being exploding in a shower of piss.Yep, I'm one of those who takes morphine for longer than a few doses 2 to 6 and then I can't pee at all. That's why it's highly reserved to only be used to initially break a pain cycle in the form of a needle jab or where I am going to be cathed. Which makes it superb for post surgery stuff. It also lets me feel the pain fully, no masking like some pain meds can do, but I don't care. This makes it possible for me to move, walk and sleep. Oh glorious sleep... even with the wonderful relief that it brings this drug scares me. The last thing I want to do is wind up like my mother and sadly my dad. So I was a mess between looking forward to some relief/sleep and horrified over having to manage the pain with no relief and mad cause we know that morphine worked why not stay with the tried and true effective...

I lucked out that I didn't react to the new pain med. It just made really, really sleepy. I learned I didn't have to use as much of it because Ice rules. I thought the nurse was a nutter when she asked the are you hurting question. I really wanted to pop up with the no why would you think that... after all I just had surgery a few minutes ago and I was a bit miffed that there was no pump button to push. She said she'd be back with some ice and a pill. This left me feeling stupid cause I didn't want morphine pills and I couldn't see the point of the ice. Oh am I ever glad of the ice. It helped to have something against my incision especially when having to move. It hurt to have it against the incision cause ice is jagged and hard and being jiggled didn't make it feel to good when something moved me. Either bumping the bed, a bump in the road, dog jumping on bed at home to say hello, sudden slamming of brakes... I loved the ice so much that I chose it over the pain pills. I think I was able to get off the pain pills so quickly was because of the ice. Oh don't get me wrong I loved not hurting and getting good restful sleep. What motivated me to get off is I didn't like the thick wrapped in cotton feeling and I really didn't want to risk having a reaction. I felt like a clock was ticking and the next dose could/would be the last dose. So I relied heavily on ice.

Another thing I learned from this surgery is that super glue rocks. I loved that I didn't have to go back for stitch removal. I loved that I didn't have to be restitched up and I didn't have the everything is falling out feeling because the staples let go too soon. (yes, I had this happen about 6 hours post surgery. The staff and dr were not amused. I really wasn't amused cause there's nothing like getting sewn shut while waiting for the Bendadryl to kick in to deal with the hives to cause one to lose all sense of humor).  I didn't have a huge dressing weighing down on my throat and neck. Something that really bothered me after the first surgery. Other hand concern for rough seams of shirts or other things rubbing it the wrong way. and keeping it dry. yes a bandage would have helped with this to a degree and I'm still confused as to why I didn't have a dressing but no dressing changes are always good. Another nice thing is the look of the scar. I don't care how my scars look for the most part. I'm not my mother after all. I had surgery in the same spot in the past and was left with fatter scars from it. I also had a lot of puckering, issue with clothing catching, rubbing  wrong, and didn't want to have to go in for scar reduction which I wouldn't have thought about if my auntie hadn't kept mentioning it. That was soooo not a good experience. I'm happy to say I don't have any of this and I strongly suspect that it's cause of the super glue. This is the only surgery I've had with super glue so i'm not a 100% positive. But if it is, sign me up for it in the future.

The results were a little bit of a shock. Now I had already had the Endo tell me that he suspected cancer because of the rapid change from his not feeling a mass to his feeling a mass. I had an estimated size of the mass because of the cat scan and ultrasound that were done. So you'd think I would have been prepared for the results right? In away I was and in a way I wasn't. the mass was far larger than the 2 cm I was told it was suspected to be. Considering how great the contrast was between lying down flat pre surgery and post surgery I wasn't really surprised.  It was  cancerous. Again not really surprised. What I wasn't expecting was that it would be  thyroid cancer.

Papillary thyroid cancer to be exact. I'm still not sure I have wrapped my head around this diagnoses. i don't have a stage at this time. I don't have a treatment plan. I do have a ton of questions that are darting around in my head like minnows in shadows at the lake. How did this happen? Why didn't the radioactive iodine 131 work? Was it there before the original surgery or did it show up afterwards? Now what? There are others but they aren't ready to be voiced because they aren't fully formed just yet.

I am in the 1% yet again. I don't know why I am stuck being in the 1% on things. I don't even know what the 1% means really. I know that sounds odd but other than thyroid cancer being 100% cured in 99% of the population that gets it; 1% aren't. So yes, I get that I was/am in the 1% that didn't get cured. I just don't know where I fall into that 1%. I've been given statistic that are confusing. 85% of the 1% do just fine and are cured and 15% aren't and need further treatment. But that just leaves me more confused... If you can't tell math isn't my strong suit and I got lost with how can you get 85% & 15% out of 1%.  Am I in the 85% or 15%? no one so far can tell me.

I'm scared like i have never been scared before. I who have overcome many terrifying and scary things is afraid. I'm confused and a bit angry at being afraid. I'm also extremely tired of being told I should not be confused and scared. From a dear relative who meant well but is really clueless. You spent 4 hours trapped inside an elevator that could have fallen several floors to your death and you didn't bat an eye and studied instead, how can you be scared? From a very dear old ancient friend. You were the only one to walk away from the ___ accident(s) and you can get into vehicles and travel those road(s) afterwards. How can you be afraid of this? I can't explain it. I just am.

I think it has to do with my innocence being shattered. OK you can stop laughing now. Really. I know it's funny to think of me and innocence together but I'm trying to explain something that I don't know how to explain and your laughing is distracting. During all that time when I was in tough situations, I had two things going for me. Death would be preferred and doctors are perfect except for when they aren't. another thing that was going for me back then was that I didn't have the knowledge I do now and I didn't have a reason to go forward. I know now just how big a blunder doctors can make. I have kiddos who need me and are going to need me a lot longer (rest of their lives) than most kiddos need their mother/parent. and that is why I am more afraid.

I don't know about you but for a doctor to say that they are sorry for making a mistake and thinking I was certifiable crazy as a loon when I really had a problem scares me a lot. to have a doctor tell me that they aren't sure what the steps will be from here on scares me a lot. to have a doctor say that they weren't expecting this and hadn't prepared for this scenario scares me a lot. Especially in doctors who have repeatedly seen me falling into the 1% of situations. I know they can't be experts in everything.

I now have to wait until Sept apt to learn the rest of the information and what my options if any are.

Corn Yum-Yum

15 slices bacon

2 onions, diced

4 (15 oz) cans corn

¾ lb American Cheese, diced

8 eggs

12 slices toast

salt and pepper to taste

Cut bacon into small pieces. Fry in kettle and pour off most of the fat, keeping enough to fry the onion. When onions are browned, add corn and heat through. Add cheese and stir until blended. Add eggs one at a time beating each into the mix. Cook until slightly thickened (about 10 min) Season and serve on toast.

Peach Cobbler Supreme

1 box yellow cake mix
2 large cans sliced peaches- drained (reserve juice for water replacement)
1 can cherry pie filling
1 cup chopped nuts
1 cup water (omit for peach juice)
½ cup margarine or butter
3 eggs

Mix cake according to box instructions. Add peaches, cherry pie filling and nuts. Dump into Dutch oven and bake.

Things Got Quiet Part 3

So i heard from the scheduler and the soonest that I could get into an ENT was June 27th.

It was a long 2¾ week wait. I tried desperately to cling to the wispy cloak of denial. Especially from the 9th until 10th of June. But off and on I tried to get it to come back and cover me completely. I'm thankful for some of my emaginary friends who were there for me.

I took time to focus and love on my dear children and to answer their questions as best I could considering I had questions of my own. I tried to deal with their dad's shock, disbelief, and outrage. I tried to figure out what plans to get through, what plans to change, and what plans to cancel outright.

I kept my standing recheck appointment with the rehab doctor. he was stunned by the lab results as he was expecting a single digit number not the double digits I had and no where near as high as they had been trending. I still remember the shocked look on his face and I hear his words so crystal clear. I though you were joking when you said you were feeling awful and severely hypothyroid. I expected you to be one to three numbers off. NOT the several you labs show. I can't believe it. I didn't think it was possible for someone to live with numbers that high. I'm sorry that the cancer might be back. Oh how this unnerved me. He was the 2nd doctor to use that dreaded c word. 

Finally the day came for me to see the ENT. I lucked out and got an ENT that I had seen several years ago and who I had been impressed enough with that I went to him for my son's surgery. I was nervous because I wasn't sure it would be the same doctor after all this time. He too gave me the gold standard lecture about taking medications properly and then he surprised me. After adding that I needed to work at reducing the amount of meds I was taking and see about seriously getting off of most of them cause too many meds cause issues, he added one. that too will be the subject of discussion at another time.

He did say that he wanted a CAT scan and he wanted it with Contrast and then depending on what it showed there could be a biopsy or surgical removal of a mass. I'd be lying if I didn't say that this scared me badly. It's gone in 9 weeks from being a figment of my imagination to a mass that needs removal. How is this possible? He also said in his gut he felt it needed to come out. 

so the next day I go in for a CAT scan with contrast.... Only it doesn't happen that way because the staff refuse they know me too darn well and how I react to stuff like contrast. But they do the CAT scan any ways just without the contrast part. I was nervous about it cause the whole point of the contrast was to make things crystal clear that the ultrasound couldn't. To operate or not totally hinged on the results.

I was floored when I got the call later that day that I would have to come in on Monday for a pre-op visit. i thought for sure because of the lack of contrast that it would be inconclusive.  On Monday, I received more information. I got the type of surgery I would be having "removal of a substernal mass". I learned why the ultrasound was inconclusive and a rough size and a preliminary diagnose of metastatic thyroid cancer based on lab results, ultrasound, CAT scan and past history of thyroid cancer and quirks. I was told to pick a day preferrably on the sooner side than the later in the calendar. So I told him already did that last week.

See before the CAT scan was scheduled the nurse told me his schedule for surgery books up fast and that since this was considered urgent I had 3 choices of dates. Wednesday the 3rd, in two weeks or in 3-4 weeks and that I should pick the one that would most work with my schedule but the sooner the better would be best. Ironically the date I wanted fell on a Sunday. I mean if your going to have de ja vu with a twist wouldn't it only be fitting to pick the same day as the original surgery? so I chose the 3rd of July without any hesitation even though many people called me nuts cause of the 4th of July etc. I had another reason for picking this day but that's for at totally different post cause it's on a different subject.

And that is why things have been quiet here dear readers. I have been taking the time to love up on my children, get my act in order and make peace where I could as far as arrangements for the things should the worse happen and the Vultures should get dinner. Since we home school I have been taking the time to jump start the work load and try to get some major hours accomplished in case I wasn't up to doing much with the kiddos. I'm still unsure what the actual and or final diagnoses will be and therefore what if any treatment will be needed/required/recommended. so that's another reason I'm trying to get full days of school accomplished now when I would typically be doing half days only. I want to store up a cushion of hours so that if things aren't so hot in a bit we can take the time off.

I do plan to be better at informing everyone that cares what's up. I wanted to tell my Dad before I generally announced it. I figured I owed him that much. So I am very grateful we got to do lunch prior to my surgery and that I got to tell him in person. Especially those 3 little words I care Dad.

Jungle Stew

2 lbs hamburger

2 onions

2 cups uncooked macaroni

3 (15 oz) cans kidney beans

2 (16 oz) can tomatoes

salt and pepper

Boil macaroni until tender. Drain. Brown onions and meat. Combine all ingredients and simmer about 20 minutes.

Another camping one pot type recipe.

Things Got Quiet Part 2

Sorry to leave you with a cliff hanger of sorts. It was getting to be too long of a post so I thought I'd best stop and break there.

I had an ultrasound and labs done as directed. The only thing remaining for me was to wait for the next Endo appointment. That happened on June 7.

I honestly expected that appointment to be anything but a tweaked repeat of a different June. I'm not sure if I was being haunted by the ghost of June Past or if I was well being visited by Loki (another reference from my childhood days and stories I got to hear.)  What ever it was going on, I was totally not expecting it to play out as it did. If I had been given the slightest hint or clue that something was going to happen as it did, I surely wouldn't have brought my daughter with me. I'd of worked harder to find a babysitter for her or I'd of tried to bribe someone to take my son for a playdate/outing and let her stay home.

Instead because of drama in the waiting room which will be a topic of another post at another time...I had her come back with me to see/meet the doctor. After all what is so big a deal about getting one's meds tweaked and the possibility of a different test being done like an MRI. Something surely was going to occur like that and it would be stuff she could handle. Boy was I wrong.

The Endo comes in and decides he wants to give me the lecture about taking your meds at the same time of day every day with no food and only water and a full glass of water blah, blah, blah, blah. it's a prerequisite I think when it comes to treating my thyroid glitches. Cause they simply don't get that I've been dealing with this for so long that I have a habit of doing the thyroid supplement 4 hours min after my bedtime pills with water and then waiting another 4 hours to eat breakfast. It's a total pain in the rear because when I swallow something as little as  my pill my stomach is like Party time food is coming and then it gets very upset when all it gets is a bit of water and a tiny pill. No bacon and eggs or oatmeal or other solid food comes so it pouts and gives me a bad case of queasiness to rectify this and get the timing down it means I take my pill at 4 a.m. I get up I take my pill and drink the required amount of water, pad down to the bathroom, and return to bed in hopes of falling back to sleep so I don't get sick and lose the pill. I've learned this golden piece of wisdom from the years of experience in figuring it out during the first of many glitches.

Upon reassuring that the meds are being taken per schedule given by original Endo who had to deal with replacing my thyroid with meds and trying to find balance. I'm given the look. The one that screams loudly "There has to be something going on because it really shouldn't be so much of a problem if I am truly doing as I say, so just admit your not doing this." I ask about some other lab results and if they could possibly be run like copper, cortisol, adrenal stuff, etc. and of course the ultrasound. Seriously I stood my ground and said what's wrong with me cause I know I'm not nuts.

I ask what if anything the ultrasound showed. he didn't have it so he left to see if the nurse could find it. He comes back to do the annoying strangle you while you swallow your saliva or if your lucky drink some water. My first clue that something wasn't right was the fact that he kept having me do it several times. Usually it's a one incident with two to eight swallows on average. No, not this time. No this went on way longer than that. Then he immediately went for the nurse to get the ultrasound results.

OK no biggie. My dd was by this time thinking that something was very wrong. I was thinking it was probably nothing big other than something not getting put into my chart. So i tried to reassure her that everything was going to be fine. My dd has a 6th sense at times. She just knows when something is off and not always in a good way. Other times she's totally oblivious to any and everything around her. Unfortunately, this wasn't that time.

The doctor returns pulls up some thing on the computer looks at it and turns to me. In my mind, I'm thinking this is where he's going to say coughnutjobcough and tell me to not come back because the ultrasound is clean.

I was totally not expecting him to say that the ultrasound showed something but was fuzzy and I would need to see an ENT for a biopsy. Uh oh, this can't be good. My poor brain about fell out as it had to switch gears from the anticipated nothing on the ultrasound to Thou needs to get thee to an ENT. there was a whole lot of stuff said by the doctor. I only caught a few of the words as my daughter grabbed my arm with a death grip and started to compress the nerves and cut off the circulation. the words I caught was experience, cancer, biopsy, surgery, and more labs... Follow up in September.

I was able to get the blood drawn there at the office, I had to go to a different building down the road to get the equipment for the other test that was needed, and I had to wait for the scheduler to call me with something for the Endo all while trying to calm my daughter down.

It wasn't until I was talking to a rather distant but old friend of the family and she pointed it out that I was having a weird version of de ja vu. See in a long distant June, I had gone to this same Endo office but to a different Endo, the children's father was gone to a training only then it was to basic training for the military now it was training for boy scouts, my dd was with me both times but she was much younger then lol, then she was unaware and could care less and now she was very much aware and showed she cared by the death grip she kept insisting on giving my arm or hand and I very much was told that I would need to see someone about a biopsy.  However, instead of an ENT (ear, nose, and throat doctor) I went to my mother's surgeon. another interesting thing was that I was the one who mentioned cancer not the Endo and this time it was the Endo and not me.

Again this is getting long so I'll stop here and add a part 3.

Pineapple Delight

1 #2 can crushed pineapple with juice
1 yellow cake mix
1 stick margarine

Empty pineapple into Dutch oven. Sprinkle cake mix over fruit. Cut up margarine and lay pats on top of cake mix. Bake 45 minutes to one hour or until top is brown.

Things got quiet....Part 1

I am alive and doing OK. I didn't mean for things to get so quiet around here. June was a month of struggle for me as I wrestled with some serious questions. Like Why now? How did this happen? Now what? How soon? Do I have to go back in the box? etc. Oddly enough never a why me? did I ask or even really think about or have cross my mind.

I did have to scratch my July 14th "Sweet 16" post. I was really excited about sharing it with everyone. Had a pretty good post written up and ready to go. Now I won't know until after that date as to if I can share it or not. So to be safe I have put it on hold and am trying to figure out something else to share on that date if anything.

So what's been up with me? why the silent treatment?  Grab something to drink, put your feet up and get comfortable this is going to be long.

I haven't been feeling right for a while now. I often don't feel right because of all the various health issues I have the biggie being something called CMT, throw in a little Fibromyalgia, some Chronic Fatigue, a dash of hypothyroidism, and stress that would send most people to an early grave... and well it is no wonder I feel off most of the time. So what is different about this time?

It started several years ago with a feeling like I had something stuck in my throat from time to time. It progressed to if I laid in certain positions or held my head just so that it felt like a cat was poking its paw into the spot at the base of my neck and just above my chest. Go ahead and laugh at this description but when I was a child there was a cat who would sit on my mother's chest when she was sleeping and place it's front paws right there and slowly push down until she woke up in a state of fright. The cat only did it to me once but it left a very strong lasting impression. It took time but five years ago I plucked up the courage to ask my doctor about it. I was told that it wasn't possible to have anything going on to make me feel that way. So I dropped it.

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I wound up changing doctors several time and each time I mentioned that this sensation was getting worse, I was brushed off. It went from well that's to be expected because you have a cold with a sore throat, that isn't unusual for people who had surgery like you did, to *coughnutjobcough*, to look just admit it's a figment of your imagination and your doing this for attention here take this anti-depressant or valium.... Then I would be reassigned to a new doctor.

I thought I had hope around 2010 because a new doctor (an Endocrinologist) was intrigued by my whacked out lab work and weird symptoms and hodgepodge of diagnoses. Especially by the genetics back track in regards to the CMT. He ordered some testing to be done and wound up in a medical coverage SNAFU to get some of it pre-approved and authorized. He called me saying that it had finally been approved. An appointment is scheduled for his next available two months later to get started with all the testing.

Well something comes up and I have to change my appointment. (Que the dj to play "Another One Bites The Dust" a song that is highly appropriate for medical providers and I swear is there theme song) You could imagine the sadness and disappointment that I felt when I was told that the office was just going to call me to inform me that the appointment was being cancelled. Why? Because for some reason the doctor was no longer here to practice medicine or see patients. I was promised that my name would be taken down and put on a list to be gotten in for follow up just as soon as a replacement doctor was found. OK fine. Like the sucker that I am, I fell for it. Hook, line and sinker for about 6 months. then I called and asked and was told just a temp was in place and then I called 6 months later and was told ever so firmly and politely not to call them as they would call me when a doctor was available.

Fast forward to last year, I finally have a doctor that is willing to see me regularly. He's willing to deal with my quirks of not running true to form and the progressive nature of the CMT. I finally trust him enough to mention that I think I need to have a speech eval because I'm struggling to take my medication. It's getting caught in my throat and same with food and no matter how much I drink it doesn't dislodge it. I mention the new information about CMT and my concern about my mother's diagnoses. He agrees to some basic lab work and a referral to the Speech Therapist.

I see the speech therapist and she gives me some suggestions and refers me to have a swallow study done. Only that doesn't happen because of my list of allergies and a shortage of Barium. mean while my labs trickle in and they are not at all what the doctor was expecting. i was expecting it but no where near as bad as the numbers showed. I was totally off the charts and so far from normal that it might as well have been on Pluto.

I asked to get into an Endocrinologist and for some additional labs. I was told I didn't need to get back into an Endo just yet and only some of the additional labs were done. Waited a little bit got a phone call within a few days to a week. A record considering usually lab results don't come back for 2 to 6 weeks normally. the doctor decides to adjust my meds and redo the testing.

Time passes along I'm taking my meds like clock work and labs are redrawn. The results are better but no where good enough for someone with my history. A decision is made to get me into an Endocrinologist. I spoke to the scheduler and she wanted to know who I wanted to see. I didn't know how to answer that. I wanted the dr I saw roughly 15 years ago but she had retired i was told. the last one I had seen left and I was on the call as soon as a new one was hired list. I was stunned to learn that the dept had actually had a replacement and that the replacement had been there awhile. i was also very sad and hurt that I wasn't contacted to get in like I had been promised.

So the scheduler said she'd get me in with the Endo she sees. Said I'd like him. I don't know how she did it but she was able to get me in towards the end of April. I saw this new doctor with a lot of apprehension and uncertainty. i was less than impressed when it sounded like I was getting the same ol' same old coughnutjobcough routine. So I gave the long list of 20 some years of dealing with issues. I named the last Endo I saw and explained that he had wanted to do testing because of these issues and that the change was far more now than it was when I saw him especially with the whacky labs.

So he looked in my file and found that doctor's notes and reluctantly agreed to do an ultrasound, changed my meds yet again, and wanted me back in 6 weeks with 3 additional lab draws. I was lucky to get the ultrasound scheduled just a few days later.

Rice Pudding

1 stick margarine or butter
3 cups sugar
1 can evaporated milk
3 T cinnamon
1 box raisins
3 cups cooked rice

Combine margarine, sugar and milk. Cook over heat until dissolved. Soak raisins in hot water and drain. Add raisins and cinnamon along with rice.

NOTE: This is very sweet. You might want to use only 2 cups sugar and 2 small can evaporated milk.