Today I am thankful for the dear lady in orange.
I may sound harsh but I don’t mean to be. I’m just not sure
how to express the raw intense feelings that an incident stirred in me. This is
from the heart and off the cuff.
Today I am thankful for the lessons learned over the course
of years for it means I have lived. Today I am thankful that my eyes are opened
wide and I can see those lessons especially those that were harsh. Today I am
thankful that I can see how far I’ve come and also see how far I’ve yet to go.
Today I am thankful.
Today I am thankful for the woman in orange. Today I am
thankful for the lessons she taught me. Today I am thankful especially that I
am not her. I am thankful that I am not wearing an orange vintage suit nor did not have to wear heels that are scuffed,
in need of resoling, and clearly needing a few minutes with a soft cloth, some Vaseline
and a bit of elbow grease to bring them to the mirror shine they should
have. Today I am glad that I didn’t have
to put on makeup or do my hair. Today I am especially thankful for a good hat.
Even though I noticed your vintage suit and scuffed shoes,
your outdated makeup and smeared lipstick that wasn’t what caught my eye and
drew my attention to you. It was the crack in your voice after you redid your
order for the 5th time. It was the way you tried to bluff the man
behind the counter about the make your own combo deal. At first I thought it
was first day on the job jitters as you were quite nervous and I tried to
imagine which of the local stiffs had sent you for the newbie hazing of getting
a meal for the suits. But then I noticed the quick jerk of your head to the
mirrored reflection and I took a closer look. It was then I noticed the woman
with the two small ill-kept children sitting in the back of the place. I saw
her looking at her watch and shaking her head and heard the impatience in her
voice as the children did something that is highly annoying to adults who want
to be anywhere but with them sitting in a booth at a cheap food place as you stood
at the counter and changed your order.
It was that wall of
tears in your eyes as you faked an attempt at eye contact with me as you asked
the difference in sizing while you dug in your once upon a time popular purse
and he told me in his best impatient voice the standard “I’m sorry this is
going to be a minute longer” It was his tone of voice, followed by the eye roll
and smirk that really drew me to looking at you closely.
I didn’t mean to put you under the magnifying glass and yet
that’s just what I did. It didn’t add up or make any sense but something wasn’t
right about you. And for that I am thankful. I am thankful that the sandwich
baggie broke and your change fell on to the counter with a clink and a clang. You
tried hard not to turn red as you gulped for air. I didn’t mean to scare you
when I stepped closer and told you to order the fries in the size that you
wanted. I know I invaded your space but I wasn’t sure if you’d hear me
otherwise. That’s why I backed up so quickly.
I didn’t mean to make you have to start over as you were
carefully counting out your change. I saw how careful and attentive you were to
making each little dollar pile nice and neat. I didn’t mean to interrupt as you
stalled to buy time to get the tears under control. I saw him roll his eyes and
make a comment to a co-worker behind his hand and jerk his head indicating your
change. He may have only mouthed one word and I hope that you didn’t catch it.
But I did and I’m thankful for it.
I hope you didn’t see the look on my face when I turned to
the man behind the counter and told him to add the fries and make sure you had
enough drinks and food cause I had you covered. I know you saw him take a step
back. I didn’t mean for you to flinch because of the ring of command in my
voice or my look of contempt, neither were for you. See it was all for him.
Because I saw how he behaved, I am
thankful that I have a glass face at times.
I am thankful that you let me cover what you were short. I
would have thankfully and gladly paid for your meals in full but I also knew
that would have been pushing to far. I am thankful that I have learned that
lesson. I am thankful that you smiled a genuine smile and whispered thank you
before dashing to the table where the children set. I am thankful that you didn’t
hear what I said to the man and his co-worker. I am thankful for being able to
help you.
I don’t know why I went to this place today. I don’t really
like their food. I know my child and I needed to sit down and we needed to
rehydrate as we’d gone through all the water we had brought with us. That’s why
we were there. I’m not sure why you were there either. Except that I know you
and your children were hungry and you had to meet with a very impatient person
today. I’m assuming that simply by how fast she ran out as she saw you coming with
the tray of food.
Today dear woman you taught me a valuable lesson. You taught
me just how far I have come and how much I have to be thankful for. You taught
me that I need to be thankful that I am not you because while today I am not,
tomorrow I could be, and once upon a yesterday I simply was you. I was the
small child sitting on a hard plastic bench waiting with a very impatient watch
checker who wanted to be anywhere else than with me while my mother placed an
order and counted out her sandwich bag of change to pay for it and I was the
mother with the two small children sitting with a harassed, extremely impatient
friend while I placed our order and counted out the change from the plastic
sandwich bag in careful neat piles of dollars. I was the one who hoped I could
fill all our bellies with enough to make it through the afternoon and night
until the next day and dreading what the next morning would hold for us.
Yes, there are those who are upset that I spent the money to
cover what you were short but I am not. I am thankful that I did it. Yes, it
means bills are going to slide a bit and rent is going to be a tiny short but I
am extremely thankful for that because it means I have a place to live and
things that have to be paid and that might be way more than you have at this
time. I’ve forgotten to be thankful for that lately. You dear lady opened my
eyes wide to how lazy and seemingly ungrateful I can be and I am thankful that
I can’t be thankful enough for your lesson for which I am truly thankful.
I know you heard my child complain because I didn’t get what
I said I would. I am thankful for that. My child is spoiled in too many ways
and you helped me to teach the lesson that sometimes one must do without in
order for someone else to do with something for a change. I am thankful that
you caught the bus ahead of us because it meant that you had some place to go
and a way to get there. I am thankful that you allowed me to help you out and
more thankful that two hours later I heard about us as the man complained to
the driver. I am thankful that you didn’t hear him. I am thankful that the
driver shared what he knew because it was evidence for the very reasons I needed
to be thankful that I shared above. Again something that I couldn’t be without
your presence and for which that I am thankful.
