Chicken Fajita Salad Wraps

Chipotle Lime Dressing
1 cup ranch dressing
1 Tbs lime juice
1 Tbs finely chopped chipotle chiles in adobo sauce (from 7 oz can)
1 tsp grated lime peel

Wraps
3 cups chopped cold deli rotisserie chicken
2 cups thinly sliced iceberg lettuce
1 cup frozen corn niblets cooked cooled
1 small tomato seeded chopped (1/3 cup)
1 cup shredded monterey jack cheese (4 oz)
1 pkg flour tortillas ( 8" size)
Sour Cream

in small bowl mix dressing ingredients; set aside. In large bowl, stir together chicken, lettuce, corn and tomato. Add dressing; toss to coat.
To assemble each wrap, spoon 1/8 of chicken mixture down center of each tortilla. sprinkle with cheese Roll up Serve immediately with salsa and sour cream.

Chocolate Buttercream

 

½ cup light corn syrup
1/3 cup butter
1 square (1 oz) unsweetened chocolate cup up
1 t vanilla
4 cups sifted powdered sugar
1 lb dipping chocolate or confectioner's coating

Butter a baking sheet; set baking sheet aside. In a heavy 3 qt saucepan combine light corn syrup, the butter, and unsweetened chocolate. Cook over medium heat to boiling, stirring constantly with a wooden spoon. This should take 8 to 9 minutes.

Remove saucepan from heat; add vanilla. Stir in the powdered sugar. 1 cup at a time, till well combined. Turn candy mixture onto the prepared baking sheet. Cool till the mixture can be handled easily. This should take about 15 minutes. Knead mixture about 5 minutes or till smooth.

Shape candy into 1" balls; place balls on waxed paper. Let stand about 20 minutes or till dry. Melt dipping chocolate or confectioner's coating. Let stand till dry. Store tightly covered in a cool dry place. Makes about 60 pieces.

NOTE: If desired, immediately after shaping the candy into 1" balls, roll the balls in sifted powdered sugar or finely chopped nuts instead of dipping them into melted chocolate.

Frisco Salad

1 small navel orange (about 6 oz)

1 small McIntosh apple (about ¼ lb) cored and diced

¼ avocado (2 oz) pared and diced

1 T freshly squeezed lemon juice

2 cups shredded lettuce leaves

½ cup chopped fennel

2 T freshly squeezed lime juice

1 T chopped fresh mint

2 t olive oil

1/8 t salt

Dash pepper

Over small bowl to catch juice, remove skin and membranes from orange; reserve juice. Dice orange and set aside. In medium mixing bowl combine apple, avocado, and lemon juice, tossing to coat; add diced orange, lettuce and fennel and set aside.

Add remaining ingredients to reserved orange juice, stirring well to combine. Pour dressing over salad and toss well to coat. Transfer to serving bowl and serve immediately.

 2 servings

Chocolate Star Cookies

1 c butter
½ c brown sugar
2 egg yolks
2 c flour
2 egg whites
chopped nuts
chocolate star candy*

Cream butter -  Gradually add sugar and slightly beat egg yolks. Add flour last. Form into small balls the size of a walnut. Drop in unbeaten egg white. Roll in chopped nuts and put on cookie sheet. Make little hole in center before baking. Bake 5 min at 325° Remove and make hole deeper and place chocolate star candy in hole. Bake 15 minutes longer. 

*Hershey's kiss or other solid chocolate candy could be used instead.

Crunchy Onion Potato Bake

2½ cups milk
1½ cups water
¼ cup butter
1 box home style creamy butter or roasted garlic mashed potatoes
1 can (15.25 oz) whole kernel corn, drained
1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese
1 can french fried onions

Heat oven to 375°F
Spray 13x9 glass baking dish with cooking spray.
In 3 quart saucepan heat milk, water and margarine to boiling. Stir in contents of both pouches of potatoes (from potatoes box) just until moistened; let stand 1 minute. Stir with fork until smooth. Stir in corn.
Spoon half of potato mixture into dish. Sprinkle with ½ each of cheese and onions. Top with remaining potatoes sprinkle with remaining cheese and onions.
Bake 10 to 15 minutes or until cheese is melted and onions are golden.

High Altitude: Bake 15 to 20 minutes.

Chocolate Chip-Peanut Butter Bars

 

Base and Topping
2 1/4	cups quick-cooking rolled oats
1 1/4	cups firmly packed brown sugar
1	cup all-purpose flour
1/2	teaspoon baking soda
1	cup butter, softened
Filling
1	(14-oz.) can sweetened condensed milk (not evaporated)
1/4	cup peanut butter
1/2	teaspoon vanilla
1	(6-oz.) pkg. (1 cup) semisweet chocolate chips
1/2	cup coarsely chopped salted peanuts

DIRECTIONS

1.	Heat oven to 350°F. Spray 13x9-inch pan with nonstick cooking spray.
2.	In large bowl, combine all base and topping ingredients; mix at low speed until crumbly. Reserve 2 cups of crumb mixture for topping. Press remaining crumb mixture in bottom of sprayed pan to form base.
3.	In small bowl, combine condensed milk, peanut butter and vanilla; mix until well blended. Pour mixture evenly over base. Sprinkle with chocolate chips and peanuts. Sprinkle reserved crumb mixture over top; press down gently.
4.	Bake at 350°F. for 25 to 30 minutes or until golden brown. Center will not be set. Cool 1 hour 15 minutes or until completely cooled. Cut into bars.

Maybe it's just me... Worry about my dc's future.

Yes, I have special needs children. Yes, they are slightly high functioning considering the vagueness of the spectrum that is high functioning. Yes, things have gotten better for special needs children over the years. I am told that I should have hope in regards to their futures. Yes, I get that. Yes, I do have hope for their futures and yet along with it I have huge amounts of concern, worry, panic about what's going to happen to them in the future.

I also have huge shame. I feel that I have failed them greatly and yet in hindsight I know I haven't. I know because, I'm also told that by the pediatrician, psychiatrist, counselors, case workers, etc. that I haven't failed there's just something not quite right with them which is why they are special needs and yet I wonder and find myself asking what did I do wrong and how can I make it better. Is it just me?

Here is an example from today that makes me worry.

I buy cold cereal as a special treat for my children. Depending on the brand that I buy it comes in either a box and plastic bag or a plastic bag. Doesn't matter what form is comes in box or bag I take it out and put it into a Tupperware storage container for cereal. They both have seen me do this and helped me do this.  It helps keep it fresher longer and makes it a bit easier for my children to fix it for themselves. This has been the norm since I first got the Tupperware containers as a gift from a dear friend a long time ago.

Today, they decided to fix themselves a bowl of cereal for breakfast. Cool hope for their future I feel... Until I saw what was happening and listening to their conversation about what to do. They got their bowl, spoon, and milk substance and went to the table to fix it. Then they stood there and tried to pour the cereal out of the box into their bowl.

It didn't work. They tried several times and from several angles, twisting and turning the box to get the cereal to pour from it. I tried so hard to be good and keep a straight face as I watched them swap boxes and each attempt from the other one's box. Then I had to step out cause I was struggling not to laugh cause it was so funny to see their looks of amazement and disappointment and listen to them discuss how it's broken cause it's not working.

Ds comes running up to me. Mom, Mom, Mom he calls until he spots me. I ask what's wrong and he says “It's broke, fix it.” Our continued conversation goes something like this. “What's broke?” “The cereal.” “How is it broke?” “Well... nothings coming out when it's tipped to be poured.” “Is it empty?”, I ask, knowing full well that the real problem is it's not been opened yet. “No, it's brand new.” We are now joined by Dd who runs up with the other box of cereal. “Mom, you've got to fix this. Because we're starving. “ “Fix what?”, I ask her. I can plainly see the boxes haven't been opened yet.

She says, “See nothing is coming out and while she's stating that she's moving the box around, twisting and turning it, with some shakes to get something to come out of it.” I ask both of them, “Did either one of you open the box so the cereal can come out?” There's a deer in the headlights look from each of them and then ever so slowly they look back down at the box in their hands. As they turn to go back to the table, I can tell they've finally figured it out or I think they might have begun to at least. I follow and watch as they proceed to get the flaps open on the box and still try to get something to happen... Again nothing is coming out. 

So they call with their more urgent voices. “Mooooom” in harmony. They hadn't realized I had followed them. They see me and start to tell me it's still not working. I really have to fight now to master my emotions of laughing cause it's funny and crying because it's not. I can plainly see the problem and they've not figured it out yet. So, I ask, “Did you open the bag?” Nothing but blank looks.

So I get more specific. “Did you open the plastic bag that the cereal comes in?” Still nothing but blank looks. “If you look inside the box you will see that there's a plastic bag inside and it's holding the cereal that's inside the box.” “You need to open it too in order for the cereal to come out.” Then there is a flicker of recognition. Followed by a chorus of “Oh yeah...”. Ds goes to get the scissors to cut the bags open and dd removes the bag from the first box while waiting for ds to return. Dd looks at me and asks, “When did they start doing this to cereal?” Before I can answer ds chimes in with “They've always done it.” And in away they are both right. Cereal didn't always come inside a bag inside a box and yet for both of them it's always been that way. It's something simple that is common knowledge for the most part and yet not something they grasped when they needed to in order to fix themselves breakfast. It's not long and they are happily munching on their cold cereal breakfast. I put the cereal into the Tupperware containers that it's normally stored in and go to put it away. Meanwhile, my heart is heavy and I feel the slinking, shuddering appearance of worry and doubt creep inside me.

The above isn't so much an unusual story. For most parents it would not cause a heavy heart or worry. They'd just blow it off if they witnessed this. If they took a moment to read what I've shared they would smile and assume not knowing me or my family that the children were young and still no heavy heart or worry. But for those who know us, well they might get it. It might not bring the same response as I have but they'd be concerned for sure if not down right frightened.

Why would they? Because my children are old enough and experienced enough that they shouldn't have had this happen to them. It's not the first time they've made cold cereal for breakfast. It's not the first time that they've opened cereal boxes and gotten the plastic bag out and then put the cereal contained inside in either a bowl for immediate eating or in the storage container we keep cereal in. This shouldn't have happened like this when faced with fixing a simple cold cereal for breakfast meal and yet it did and does happen.

 There old enough that this isn't a good sign of things to come in their future to me. Today it's cold cereal for breakfast, tomorrow it could be something else, and who knows what it will be in the future. Yes, they are special needs and yes, I deal with some version of this regularly if not on a daily basis or several times a day basis.  I have experience and am used to it and yet still my heart is heavy and I worry about the future because nothing appears to have changed from the very first time this happened.

They are getting older (dd is 17 and ds is 14) and yet something like this keeps happening with no rhyme or reason. No, I have to be honest, I'm very worried about their futures. I am at a loss as to what to do to make it better. I'm at a loss as to why those who might help me can't see the problem. So maybe it really is just me...

Chicken Ranch Tacos

1 box Old El Paso Stand n Stuff Taco Shells
3 cups cut up deli rotisserie chicken
1 pkg Old El Paso taco seasoning mix
½ cup ranch dressing
1½ cups shredded lettuce
1 medium tomato chopped (¾ cup)
1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese (4 oz)
¼ cup sliced green oinions
Additional ranch dressing if desired.

Heat taco shells in oven as directed on box
In medium microwave bowl place chicken. Sprinkle with taco seasoning mix; toss gently to coat.
Microwave uncovered on HIGH 2 to 3 minutes or until hot. Stir in ½ cup dressing
Spoon warm chicken mixture into heated taco shells. Top with lettuce, tomato, cheese and onions. Drizzle with additional dressing.

Substitution: instead of rotisserie chicken used any diced cooked chicken.

GF Chocolate Chippers

½ cup butter or margarine
¼ cup brown sugar
1 egg
½ cup sugar
1 teaspoon GF vanilla

Cream together until fluffy

2/3 cup GF oat flour
1 Tablespoon potato starch flour
½ cup bean flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
¼ teaspoon salt

Stir together in another bowl.
Blend into creamed mixture until well mixed.

Stir in:
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
½ cup chopped walnuts (optional)

Drop from teaspoon onto greased cookie sheet, about 2" apart. Bake at 375° for 8-10 minutes. Remove immediately. Cool. 

Make about 2½ dozen

2013 Fear Avoidance List Accomplishment 3 The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

I did it!!!! I did it!!!! I accomplished something that I felt doomed at ever getting done. I have now read "The Hobbit" by J.R.R. Tolkien from start to finish.

I can't begin to describe everything that I went through with this book as it was extremely intense, ultra personal and still a bit raw. This book has been haunting me since I first learned of it when I was a child. It's one of the things that kept me from making the straight A honor roll in junior high and high school. It got me teased and tormented for being a coward by those who didn't understand and it caused many a nightmare some which were of the living variety.

I loved to read as a child. It helped me to escape my day to day reality. It gave me something to do that wasn't considered a complete idle waste of time unlike my art did. It couldn't be judged for the most part as good or bad as it simply was and best of all it gave me something to think on during the not so nice times.

There's just something about doing cleaning house be it vacuuming, scrubbing floors on your hands and knees, laundry, shoveling snow, raking leaves, cleaning up dog poo, etc. or waiting for something to happen like the bus to come, class to start or end, lunch alone, recess to get over with, etc. that leaves you time to think. I had too much time to think and it often got me in trouble. 

That's when the discovery of reading something for fun could be thought on during the thinking times. You can't imagine the joy I felt at being able to use the time that I was already using for thinking on thinking about what I had read. It was a huge aha moment. That's when I started really getting friendly with the librarians at both the school and public library. In turn they started pointing me to books they thought I would enjoy. Mysteries, Westerns, How to, general fiction etc. was just a few of the genres that they pointed me to. Eventually this led to "The Hobbit".

As part of my unique upbringing as a child, there were certain things that one just didn't do. Ever!!! Reading and or watching Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror fell into this category. I was lucky the first time I was caught with "The Hobbit". I only got a mild thrashing which meant just two weeks of school missed and a lecture about sin, damnation, and my soul winding up in hell. It was enough to make my fear of "The Hobbit" take off.

It was further aided by the second thrashing I received because my "babysitter" decided to watch the animated cartoon movie version on TV. I honestly hadn't seen much of the movie when I was busted by my mother and step-father as having watched a little bit of a scene. I had gone into the living room to get the babysitter because her youngest had wet the bed and I didn't know what else to do but stand there and wait for a commercial before I interrupted her, thus leading to me to appear more guilty than I actually was.

In junior high, my English teacher had made those of us in the advanced program read various books of literature. I remember staring at the list and seeing "The Hobbit" on it and then the next thing I knew I was on the floor surrounded by a concerned teacher and other students. Oh how I dreaded showing that list to my parents but I was smart enough to leave the book in my locker. There was quite a row the next day at school as my step-father went toe to toe with everyone from the teacher to the dean of girls, to the guidance counselor, to the assistant principal and principal and on up to the superintendent of schools. I was lucky and assigned another book to read in it's place plus three additional writing assignments to make up for it. At home I wasn't quite as lucky as I was punished with extra work to do, loss of TV, and phone privileges.

I really had begun to think that this book was a part of some dark magic or a curse. I knew it when I was sent to stay at a place that was just plain weird. I won't get into that here but it cemented my fear of "The Hobbit" and brought a new fear into creation involving "The Lord of the Ring" series. The place had rules, regulations, rituals, and a language of its own. It had a taken bits and pieces of "The Hobbit", "The Lord of the Ring", Greek, Roman, Norse, and Celtic myths and lore, street slang from the time period, and mixed it all together with a version of military boot camp to be a true place of nightmares. It was a bit of a nasty shock to me that I was stuck in such a crazy mixed up place. It taught me to fear the work of J.R.R. Tolkien in away that my step-father hadn't been able to do. When I finally got out of that place, I had no love for anything related to the Shire, Rivendell, Elves, etc. etc.

In High School, my English teacher again assigned me to read "The Hobbit". My step-father appealed and fought but the superintendent didn't budge and I had to try to read it. It wasn't something I was mentally prepared to undergo. I had been damaged to the point that to read the story brought back painful, hideous memories.

I needed to talk to someone about it but there wasn't anyone. The number one lesson I learned in the place because it was drilled into my head through pain, sweat and tears was simply that one didn't talk about the place to others especially outsiders. If one needed to talk to someone about the place then one had to show the coin and speak the Elvish words and if the other could produce a coin or ring and speak the words back, then you could speak about place. If no coin or ring produced or Elvish words spoken one had to keep quite.

I couldn't find anyone to speak to because the test failed. The counselor I could have accessed and spoke to about things and who might have helped me adjust and get through "The Hobbit" had disappeared. The caseworker had been transferred to a different location. The last resort ombudsman person I couldn't reach by the phone number I was given as it had been disconnected and no one answered my letters for help.

I struggled to cope. I was having nightmares that persisted during the day. I was fearful of being drug back to the hellish place for breaking the rules and talking about the book. The book and the place were so closely intertwined in my head that I couldn't see at the time how to separate the two.

I was having to listen as others talked about the story both inside and outside of the classroom. I internally struggled with wanting to talk about it like my peers were and the teacher wanted and not wanting to talk about it for fear of being sent back to the place. I didn't know what to do or how to talk without talking. It triggered anxiety attacks which were horrible.

Because of not participating in the classroom discussions and not being able to read as required, I was failing the class. Because of what had happened inside the place along with my failing the class, my step-father saw it as a sign to begin the punishments a new.  Thus I felt like I had died and entered hell which cemented my fear of and strengthened my belief that "The Hobbit" was dark magic and a deadly curse.

Eventually I escaped my mother and step-father and I found a counselor who cared enough to help me break free of my deeply ingrained reactions to the place. This led about my second independent attempt to read "The Hobbit". I made it to the scene in the forest and couldn't go further. I quit and gave up. Then "The Lord of the Rings" movies were coming out and I was faced with my silly irrational fear of them so with the aid of my mentor I tried to work through it. I managed fairly well so I figured I would try again to read "The Hobbit" and made it a little farther than before in the part of the forest before I just couldn't do it.

Until this time around, I had managed to make a bit of peace with my never having success at reading the book. I was told by many a counselor and my mentor that there was no shame in not reading the book completely because I had a valid reason more than most as to why I couldn't get through it.

A couple of years ago I began to get a notion to read this dreaded book. I knew that time was running out because it would be something my own children would have to read eventually for an English class. I knew that I'd have to be able to handle it as their mother no falling apart would be allowed. Especially if I didn't want them to have a prejudicial view of the book and truly wanted the cycle to be broken.

I also knew that with the release of the movie version of "The Hobbit" coming in December, 2012 I would be forced to face my fear pretty much where ever I went. Now a days one can't go too far without being blasted with advertisements, conversations, displays of merchandise, etc. for long anticipated movies. Whether I wanted to or not my time to face my fear was now. Yet, I couldn't before January, 2013.

I had long conversations with my mentor and a few friends about what I was going to do. It wasn't easy to scrounge up my courage after all I'd tried several times and failed. I felt ready to start and the book wasn't available as all copies had been checked out. What was I to do? Request a hold or go buy it at a book store?

It was extremely hard to request that a copy of "The Hobbit" be put on hold for me at the library but it is what I did. I've come full circle now it seems. It's odd how things have worked out. I first learned of this story at a public library in a distant town and I am now returning the book to our local public library because I have actually read it cover to cover successfully. I can now see exactly why the librarian at the time had the nerve to recommend it to me and I am oh so glad she did.

It's not a curse or dark magic as I was taught to believe by my step-father's reaction to me with the book and my experience with the place. I don't know why my step-father was so against this author and this book. It will forever be shrouded in time as a mystery because he's gone to where I can't ask him why. I don't know why I had to experience such a horrible time with this book. I just did. I hope it has made me a better person overall and I hope those who I offended by my strong negative reaction to the book can forgive me for it.

It is a with a great sense of peace and like I've righted something long wrong within me because of gluing something back together deep inside that I now experience. It's good enough that I have gone to the book store and bought a copy for my library. In fact, I am off to begin reading this delightful tale to my children. Until next time....