I was asked by a man for help with a project he wanted to do. I was like maybe, what is it? He laid it out that he wanted a list of things that guys do that women especially women in a relationship with them find annoying. I was like um, no I'll pass. He was all sweet and puppy dog eyes little boy please, please, please help me out. So I asked if he was sure he could handle it cause most of the time when a guy asks this kind of question and a woman responds he can't handle the information she gives him. He said he could. So I got started. Cause I was trying to word things in a way that the man could handle, I asked some of my gal pals for help. Sadly we couldn't decide on just 10 things to share with him. We did however cut it down to 25 things.
So in no particular order here is the list that me and my pals came up with. There's a few man specific things but some of it isn't exclusive to men but just a partner, significant other, boy/girl-friend.
1) It’s fine for him to have friends/associate with members
of the opposite sex yet gets all butt hurt if you do the same.
2) Doesn’t
think anything about dropping $$$ ingredients for meals he likes that you can’t
eat (food allergy or ingredients that are medical doctor ordered to avoid ex.
mushrooms) but bitches and moans about spending more money on extra ingredients
or having to prepare a separate bit of the meal so you have something to eat
too. Or spending $2 on something a cold cereal, cake/cookie mix that is a real
treat for you or spending the money on a box of your childhood favorite hot
cereal.
3) Starts to get sexy with you, a grown adult woman, and is
mortified when he learns you’ve had sexual experiences with other men and
repeatedly throws it in your face when ever he doesn’t get his way.
4) Has money for cigarettes, pop/soda, candy and to eat out
or get mods/expansion packs for games; but, can’t help pay insurance, vehicle maintenance/repairs,
electric, gas, rent, or bills. Then lays a guilt trip on you because you ask
for his portion and of course it cuts him short of what he wants to do. If your
lucky, he’ll throw a few dollars your way to cover a little of the bill
otherwise he’ll go and blow that on candy/cigs in a temper tantrum while saying
you can’t be so horrible as to make him.
5) Chooses to spend hours playing games on computer/game
system instead of doing stuff that was planned such as household
maintenance/upkeep/seasonal chores (snow shoveling/lawn mowing), date night,
shopping.
6) 10 yrs of dealing with CRS issues. Still gets mad to
blind rages over notes, phone calls, calendar, to do lists, etc. so he doesn’t
miss his appointments, activities, and can keep his promises to others
(especially his children).
7) Asks you for a meal suggestion. Agrees to fix it or
something similar depending on negotiations. Then if he’s really OK and into
it. It will taste heavenly. But if he’s not… it will be the nastiest thing in
the world to eat while looking food mag photo shoot ready. And get butt hurt if
you do something to choke it down like get an extra glass of water, add salt or
a condiment, or add something to try to get it to be less.
8) Sends a dick pic then cries if you don’t cheer
and start a parade in his honor.
9) Gives me a hard time over the shows I watch being too
gross and depressing, is quick to make snide remarks, eye roll, snort, and
leave the room if I ask to watch one of the shows I really like to watch. If I
suggest other shows that I know he’s enjoyed watching then I get a hard time
about having penile envy or trying to win my father’s approval still (ex.
Forged in Fire, Counting Cars, Top Gear, Top Shot, Grand Tour.) Gets all hurt
if I joke about not wanting to disturb his girl time when he’s watching (Reba, or
Grace & Frankie or some similar show that’s really popular with my female
friends that their husbands can’t stand to watch).
10. Refuses to stand up for you or your children because
you are all classified as abnormal crippled freaks of nature that the world
would be better off without per family who make remarks about the little freaks
of nature you spawned
11. Refuses to help with what is felt to be “woman’s work”
such as washing clothes and dishes and cleaning, watching children, picking
them up from-taking too school/activities. Also refusing to fix or replace
items such as dishwasher, washing machine, dryer that would make the housekeeping
easier to do.
12. Tuning out during conversations that involve unpleasant
stuff like scheduling, money/ Bills/financials/taxes, work, chores.
13. Gets all butt hurt when asked to do something that you
normally do but can’t due to medical restrictions (post op lifting/bending
restrictions, not to get wet wound/cast/burn, etc.) ex. Washing dishes/laundry
by hand, cleaning the cat’s litter box, taking the dog out/for a walk.
14. Freaks out when you spend money on yourself for personal
care items (soap/shampoo/conditioner/lotion/pads/tampons), to replace truly
worn out clothing/shoes, but doesn’t comprehend/understand when you do it
because he bought the latest and greatest item that’s not in the budget.
Especially after berating you for your extravagance of buying something.
15. Breaking promises to spend time one-on-one with you
especially for big special occurrences like an anniversary or screwing up on
time management so that special event (dinner reservations, movie/
concert/play, trip to the store for something long anticipated) can’t happen
because of getting so involved in a game or hanging out with his buddies’ time
slips by. Then doesn’t understand why you felt hurt by it cause it was really
no big deal and you need to be more understanding of his needs.
16. Not remembering something that should be routine after
all the time you’ve spent together like an allergy and then blaming you for not
telling him you are allergic to the ingredient/item.
17. Constantly forgetting your birthday or a special event a
party happening because of a graduation/promotion/award won, again treating it
like you are blowing it out of proportion or making a mountain out of a mole
hill. Yet would/does go nuclear if the same ever happened to him by you.
18. gets all butt hurt if someone buys you something from
your wish list because he was planning on doing it but just hadn’t gotten
around to it and never seems to remember to do so even when reminded that it’s
there.
19. Denying that there is a problem with rape culture and how rape is handled by those outside of the incident. When I say outside of the incident I'm talking not the parties involved in the incident (not the perp(s) nor the victim(s)) but those who work in the medical and mental health fields, police, cops, sheriffs, attorneys, judges, writers for books, movies, plays, songs, and TV shows, directors, club and bar crowds, etc. etc.
20. Wants a detailed military style itinerary of any time
you are away from him or the house for any reason but goes ballistic if you
request the same from him. Uses your safety, your health, crime statistics,
etc. as justification while saying they don’t apply towards him.
21. Mansplaining...
22. Downplaying ideas that are pitched to him for feedback be it paint colors, dinner suggestions, furniture rearrangement, work projects/promotions/ideas, car buying, electronics equipment purchases, etc. Then swooping in and promoting them as his own original ideas when said woman is trying to present them with maybe a 2-5% change (most commonly the use of I or inserting his name, contact info in place of hers). Gaining the praise, recommendation, business connections, etc. that were rightfully for the other party.
23. Denying that women are treated differently. Making false assumptions about women based on stereotypical or gender biased myths, cultural references, and locker room talk.
24. Telling you he has no family when, in fact, he does.
25. Not saying anything about using all the toilet paper in the bathroom and not responding to yells/shouts/texts/screams to bring more. Or not remembering to pick up any at the store no matter how many texts, lists, phone call reminders are given.
Number 24 is one that I have sadly experienced and seen repeatedly. I experienced it when I was told there was no surviving parents. However, on the wedding day about 5 minutes before walking down the isle I learned this was a lie. I had an unknown woman demanding that I come out of the place where I was changing into my wedding attired because she needed to speak to me. When I appeared she started belittling my fiancé and saying all kinds of nasty things about us. that's when I learned that in fact I would have a mother in law after all. And it's been a miserable relationship for the both of us ever since.
I've seen many a male relative when I was growing up lie to some woman he was making a move on be it in the bar, the café, truck stop, or simply on the street. If I played my cards right I'd get a five or ten to keep my mouth shut about the wife and kids back home waiting for him. If I really played them right I could get an easy $20 if I not only left out the wife and kids, but the other girlfriend or two or three and the kids they had who sometimes slipped and called him Daddy, too.
I can't tell you how horrible this is for both the woman sitting at home wondering whether to serve dinner while it's hot and not a charcoal brisket or how to save it so it's fresh and edible for the big man of the house upon his eventual arrival and the woman who thinks she's the lucky one he chose to shower with his attention and friendship and later discovers that he wasn't as alone and string free as he led her to believe.
It's even worse I feel, if she's the emotional type who sheds tears over the poor man left all alone to face the world and it's cruel challenges or a twist of fate because of his beloved family having met death through a tragic demise or ran off in order to escape the horrid future of standing by him as he deals with what ever cruel challenge or twist of fate that was presented. And there's nothing lower than picking a dreaded life draining disease like cancer, a form of muscular dystrophy or MS, blood or immune disorder or some other medically high drama low survival success rate disease or disorder. There should be a combo level of all of the rings of hell from Dante's inferno for a man who stoops this low.
It's not surprising at all to me that the man who begged for my answer to his most pressing and urgent question disappeared for a lengthy time and wouldn't respond to me saying that my answer was ready and I looked forward to discussing it further with him. It's also not surprising that as soon as he reappeared he blocked me from all possible contact. I guess that proves my theory correct don't ask such a question because you won't like or be able to handle the answer.